So it's Oscars time again, when Hollywood falls over itself to pat itself on the back and tell the world how clever it is. By the time you read this, the little bald men will have been handed out and the glitz and glamour put away for another year, but let's be honest, who really watches the Oscars for the details of who gave what award to whom? There's only ever been one reason to watch the overblown fabulousness that is the Oscars - to bitch about the dresses!!
Ok, firstly a special mention to nine year old Quvenzhané Wallis. Not only was she truly phenonmenal as Hushpuppy in "Beasts of the Southern Wild", but she looked amazing in Amrani Junior at the awards. And that dog bag? The girl is starting a fashion trend...
Next to one of my favourite actresses ever, the gorgeous and talented Amy Adams in Oscar de la Renta. This dress appears to have been a real love it or hate it gown, but I love it. It's old-school glam and she pulls it off like an absolute pro.
On the subject of old-school glamorous redheads, I have to mention Jessica Chastain in Armani Privé and Nicole Kidman looking super-sparkly in L'Wren Scott (Mick Jagger's new squeeze). Jessica really brings old-school Hollywood to life and Nicole is just...well, la Kidman never fails to knock it out of the park on the big occasions!
Helen Hunt decided that the endless hours of trying on posh frocks in designers studios was waaaaay too dull and so did what any self-respecting woman would do when a big event comes around - hit the high street! Not only is she amazingly talented but she wears H&M to the biggest awards ceremony in the world. And pulls it off. Bitch.
Reese Witherspoon's Louis Vuitton gown made me go green with envy. Even though the dress was blue. Reese has come a long way since Legally Blonde; these days she rocks the red carpet like a siren. The fact her daughter Ava helped pick this dress just makes it even cuter in my eyes!
Zoe Saldana first came to worldwide attention being given a blue spray-paint job in Avatar. No wonder she doesn't want to see the colour ever again...instead she wore a gorgeous Alexis Mabille Couture gown and looked sensational.
The Sweetheart of Mumbles, Catherine Zeta Jones, looked a bit like an Oscar in her golden Zuhair Muran dress. If anyone could pull it off though, it was Mrs Douglas...
Kelly Osbourne has transformed herself from the sort of wild child you'd dread turning up at a party in an (almost) elegant young lady! Her Tony Ward Couture dress was absolutely stunning and the purple hair is awesome!!
Amanda Seyfried wore one of my favourite designers, Alexander McQueen, and looked incredible.
Charlize Theron could wear a binbag and still look incredible. In Christian Dioe Haute Couture she looked beyond amazing. She's also an amazing actress, an incredibly intelligent, warm and witty woman and if I didn't like her so much I'd hate her. Fact.
My best-dressed of the night, however, goes to Jennifer Lawrence. Not only did she **SPOILERS** walk away with the top prize on the night, but in Christian Dior she looked like a cross between a fairy-tale princess and Grace Kelly. It might have tripped her up but who wants practicality? You don't get many chances in life to play dress-up like this, so props to her for seizing the chance and running with it.
Now for the not-so-good. Firstly, Anne Hathaway. Just...no. It does nothing for you, darling, even if it IS Prada.
Naomi Watts' dress is too shiny and too sci-fi.
Jennifer Aniston was swamped in Valentino.
Kristin Stewart and Jennifer Garner both look lovely from the front, but the backs of those dresses ruin the look for me.
Olivia Munn looked like she was wearing curtains rather than Marchesa.
And the what-the-hell-were-you-thinking dress? Well, Helena Bonham Carter has been slated (as usual) by the fashionistas for her dress on the night, but I personally love it because it's oh-so Helena. I wasn't loving Jane Fonda's yellow-peril look, either, but again she's not exactly known for her "conservative" tastes. This year there was no equivalent of the "swan dress", which was a little disappointing. Come on, ladies, let's go for broke next year, huh...?
