As today is International Women's Day it seems quite appropriate that part of my "catch-up TV viewing" from being on holiday has been the excellent Amanda Vickery's 'Suffragettes Forever! The Story of Women and Power'. Being something of a feminist (that may be a rather obvious understatement) I wanted to watch it to see how far we'd come - in actual fact watching the series, especially in light of recent news events, only shows how depressingly far we have to go. I mean over the past couple of days alone there's been furore over a documentary about the rape of a young woman in India; the news that a call regarding domestic abuse is made to police every minute; and Nicky Morgan, the Education Secretary, going on TV this morning to talk about how we need to educate eleven year olds about the issue of consent in relationships. Fuck-a-duck!! I don't know if I'm more depressed about the scolds bridle and wife sales shown in Professor Vickery's brilliant documentary or the fact I live in a world where slut-dropping is considered a fun thing for young men at university to do of a night out. (Google it. Actually don't. It's not worth your raised blood pressure).
Take the documentary about the rape in India, for example. When a female student and her male friend were attacked in Delhi in 2012, the world was horrifed. The young woman was gang raped and brutally attacked, dying as a result of her injuries some days later. Indian justice was swift, and the Powers-That-Be were stunned by the protests which took place across the country as a result of the attack. Case closed, at least until a documentary was shown last week featuring an interview with one of the attackers who is currently awaiting execution, in which some serious, serious victim-blaming went on. It was all the girl's fault, you see, because 'nice girls' don't go about after dark. Plenty of people jumped on these comments; plenty of others immediately dismissed them as a "cultural thing" and intimated that such "backwards" thinking would never take place in the enlightened West...
Except it sort of does.
When footballer Ched Evans raped a young woman in a hotel room, the fact she was drunk was highlighted by his 'supporters' as a reason for the whole incident - if a girl is that drunk, the rhetoric went, then she probably did say yes and then felt guilty the next morning. If she hadn't been drinking, she wouldn't have been raped. The same thing happened when two US college footballers had their careers "ruined" after being convicted of rape - again, the fact the girl was drinking was seen as playing a huge role in the outcome. Every time a case of rape is reported in the media you get people (mainly men but not always) implying the victim "asked for it" or "made it up"; there will be comments about what she wore or what she'd said or what she did before saying "er, actually mate, I don't want to have sex with you". And how many times have I sat in classrooms over the years and been told not to walk home by myself after dark, not to let my drink out of sight in case it gets spiked? I must have sucked up all kinds of "lessons" over the years about what was "safe" to wear and where it was "safe" to go, and yet I must have missed all the classes telling the boys to, y'know, not rape people. Oh right. Because they don't exist.
And actually this whole thing isn't just putting pressure on girls to not get themselves raped. I feel sorry for boys too, if we of the female species are so devastatingly, ravishingly alluring that just the mere sight of us makes you all want to drag us into the nearest hedge/bed /wherever and rape us. Maybe the Taliban were onto something with that whole "women must wear a burka" thing after all...I mean come on, people, get a grip! We live in a society where half the population is still objectified and dominated by the other half, where a topless girl is considered an essential part of a family "news"paper (Breaking News!! Women Have Tits!!!") and where Fifty Shades of Grey is feted as being "mummy porn" instead of the paen to abusive relationships it actually is. I don't get it. It is 2015, right...?
While we're on the subject of "Things That Make Me Mad", I found out from Amanda Vickery's programme that rape in marriage was only made illegal in the UK in 1991. 1991!!! That means it wasn't until I was nine years old that it would have been illegal for my father to rape my mother, and this in spite of us supposedly moving away from the idea of women as the 'property' of men! Good lord, I thought such Dark Age thought had been smashed in the Sixties; just goes to show that even when you think you know stuff something can still come along to pull the metaphorical rug out from under your feet...
I sometimes wonder if the bright, brave and brilliant early feminists would take a look at our supposedly equal society and wonder if it was all actually worth it. If the likes of Josephine Butler, Hannah More, Mary Wolstonecraft and the Pankhurst women were to pop to 2015, what would they actually find that has changed? Yes, women now have the vote and can stand as MPs, but the vast majority of the lawmakers in this country are still men. Yes, the Equal Pay Act has meant it's illegal for women to be paid less than men for doing the exact same role, yet statistics repeatedly show that women are still earning less. And yes, women can now get an education - have to, in fact, what with that being the Law of the Land - but it's still a world where women mainly work in low-paid, relatively unskilled jobs and still go home to do the majority of the housework and childcare. (Obviously I'm generalising; I know there are some men who do their fair share but they seem to be few and far between). Women now have control of their sexuality (Breaking News!! Women Have Orgasms And It Doesn't Mean They're Hysterical!!) but that sexuality is still defined within the contexts of what men find acceptable; woe betide the girl who doesn't fit that model or refuses to conform to the archetype of female sexuality which is shoved in our faces at every opportunity. (Girl in underwear advertises coffee. Because coffee = sex. What, don't you orgasm every time you drink a cup?)
I look back at these incredibly brave pioneers with immense gratitude - if it wasn't for them and the many others like them, I wouldn't be in the position I am today. But I also look at my own generation, and the ones which follow it, and despair. Where are the younger girls, or even the women my age, standing up and challenging the status-quo? I know they're out there but they seem to be few and far between; feminism is still considered a dirty word and several of my younger acquaintances repeatedly tell me "we don't need feminism; it's all been sorted, yeah?" Bloody hell, even Beyonce - who is pretty much the definition of Girl Power with her business empire and her Independent Women song and all that - says she's not a feminist. Beyonce! How could you?!! We need women like you to stand up and go "RAH!" to the patriarchy, not go "I believe in equality but I'm not a feminist (because feminists are all man-hating lesbians and that's not my bag, yo).
Bloody hell. I'm so depressed I'm going to read Caitlin Moran and play Bikini Kill at top volume...
Before I do, though, I'm going to celebrate some (deeply personal) past, present and future role-models...
My great-great-great (and possibly one more great, I can't really remember) aunt Laura, who at a time when women generally didn't apply to the courts for a divorce decided she'd had enough of her husband's abuse and violence and did just that. She won, too. Reading the transcript from the Court was pretty mindblowing and incredibly painful, but she had a lot of courage and I am suitably, epically proud of that.
My Mum, who taught me I could be anything I wanted so long as I was happy; who loves me unconditionally and who raised two kids while working full-time as a single mum. I am incredibly proud to be your daughter and can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me.
And my god-daughter Bethany, who is not only the coolest 13-almost-14 year old I know, but who gives me hope that the future of feminism is in good hands. She is very much her own person (sometimes a little too much!) but I have no doubt she'll succeed in life because she has the determination, grit and sheer bloody-mindedness of her mother and grandmother. Here's to you, Button, and all the girls like you who won't take any crap from anyone. (Just please listen to your mother when she asks you to do something, ok...?)
I sometimes wonder if the bright, brave and brilliant early feminists would take a look at our supposedly equal society and wonder if it was all actually worth it. If the likes of Josephine Butler, Hannah More, Mary Wolstonecraft and the Pankhurst women were to pop to 2015, what would they actually find that has changed? Yes, women now have the vote and can stand as MPs, but the vast majority of the lawmakers in this country are still men. Yes, the Equal Pay Act has meant it's illegal for women to be paid less than men for doing the exact same role, yet statistics repeatedly show that women are still earning less. And yes, women can now get an education - have to, in fact, what with that being the Law of the Land - but it's still a world where women mainly work in low-paid, relatively unskilled jobs and still go home to do the majority of the housework and childcare. (Obviously I'm generalising; I know there are some men who do their fair share but they seem to be few and far between). Women now have control of their sexuality (Breaking News!! Women Have Orgasms And It Doesn't Mean They're Hysterical!!) but that sexuality is still defined within the contexts of what men find acceptable; woe betide the girl who doesn't fit that model or refuses to conform to the archetype of female sexuality which is shoved in our faces at every opportunity. (Girl in underwear advertises coffee. Because coffee = sex. What, don't you orgasm every time you drink a cup?)
I look back at these incredibly brave pioneers with immense gratitude - if it wasn't for them and the many others like them, I wouldn't be in the position I am today. But I also look at my own generation, and the ones which follow it, and despair. Where are the younger girls, or even the women my age, standing up and challenging the status-quo? I know they're out there but they seem to be few and far between; feminism is still considered a dirty word and several of my younger acquaintances repeatedly tell me "we don't need feminism; it's all been sorted, yeah?" Bloody hell, even Beyonce - who is pretty much the definition of Girl Power with her business empire and her Independent Women song and all that - says she's not a feminist. Beyonce! How could you?!! We need women like you to stand up and go "RAH!" to the patriarchy, not go "I believe in equality but I'm not a feminist (because feminists are all man-hating lesbians and that's not my bag, yo).
Bloody hell. I'm so depressed I'm going to read Caitlin Moran and play Bikini Kill at top volume...
Before I do, though, I'm going to celebrate some (deeply personal) past, present and future role-models...
My great-great-great (and possibly one more great, I can't really remember) aunt Laura, who at a time when women generally didn't apply to the courts for a divorce decided she'd had enough of her husband's abuse and violence and did just that. She won, too. Reading the transcript from the Court was pretty mindblowing and incredibly painful, but she had a lot of courage and I am suitably, epically proud of that.
My Mum, who taught me I could be anything I wanted so long as I was happy; who loves me unconditionally and who raised two kids while working full-time as a single mum. I am incredibly proud to be your daughter and can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me.
And my god-daughter Bethany, who is not only the coolest 13-almost-14 year old I know, but who gives me hope that the future of feminism is in good hands. She is very much her own person (sometimes a little too much!) but I have no doubt she'll succeed in life because she has the determination, grit and sheer bloody-mindedness of her mother and grandmother. Here's to you, Button, and all the girls like you who won't take any crap from anyone. (Just please listen to your mother when she asks you to do something, ok...?)
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