A Fine Line...

So last week Jeremy Forrest, the teacher accused of abducting a 15 year old pupil at his school and taking her to France, was sentenced to 5 and a half years in prison for admitting 5 counts of sexual activity with a child and after being found guilty of child abduction. So far, so ‘same old, same old’, right? I mean this happened just after disgraced broadcaster Stuart Hall was sent down for sexual offences, including those against a victim as young as 9; we’re almost USED to the news featuring someone or other getting charged with being a pervert at the moment. And yet it turns out this case, which would usually have the Daily Mail lynch mob hopping up and down brandishing their pitchforks threateningly in Forrest’s direction, is proving to be one of the most divisive I think I've ever seen. I sort of expected the victim, now 16, to be conflicted about what happened and to maintain that she still ‘loves’ him; I remember being 15 and having crushes on teachers myself (ah, Mr S, how we girls used to moon over you…), and this was her first experience of a ‘relationship’ (god, that makes me feel physically sick even typing it) so her reaction isn't really that surprising. Sad, yes, but not unexpected. The grief of her mother is also not unsurprising, especially since her daughter is now apparently blaming her for the entire court proceedings and has moved out of the family home; this mother-daughter relationship appears to have fractured beyond repair and my heart breaks for her. What HAS surprised me, and sickened me in many cases, are some of the other responses…

Now I understand that Forrest’s mother and sister would be standing by their ‘black sheep’; families are, after all, complicated things and whatever he has or hasn't done, he is still their son and brother. As the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the perpetrators of the Columbine Massacre, says in Andrew Solomon’s seminal book ‘Far From the Tree’, no matter how horrific her son’s crime he was still her little boy, and yet she struggled with the idea her own grief at the loss of her child was somehow not as ‘legitimate’ as the grief of the mothers of the children Dylan had killed. So yes, the family are standing by him. Perversely, so is his wife. I’ll say that again. His WIFE is standing by him. This is a man who cheated on her with a 15 year old child – a child who was only 14 at the time their ‘relationship’ began – and yet she’s standing by him and isn't sure she wants a divorce, even though his family have apparently said he’ll be divorcing her to marry his victim. Excuse me while I go and throw up/punch something, would you…?

That’s better. Now, where was I? Oh yes, the bizarre reactions to this case. Not only is Forrest apparently still seeing his victim, she’s been granted permission to go and see him in prison. Excuse me, but exactly WHAT sort of message does that send out?! The law is very clear – it is ILLEGAL for a teacher to have a ‘relationship’ *vomits* with a pupil UNDER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN; the fact she is now technically at the legal age of consent is invalid in this context because he is (was) her teacher and she his pupil. Ergo HE HAS BROKEN THE LAW!!! And yet after sending the guy to prison for this very crime, the Powers-That-Be decide it’s ok to let her visit him?!! REALLY?!! No WONDER the poor child is confused! “Hey, we think what he did to you was really bad so we’re going to send him to prison now, but hey, you can still go visit him!” That’s just…well, frankly, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at that. And THEN you get the marvellous (please note – sarcasm) response of her father, who THANKED Forrest for “taking care” of his daughter and then said the courts should let him go because “they were in love and she should take some of the blame”. That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is my candidate for Father of the Year…

I’m going to spell this out, using little words so Daddy Dearest will understand. Your daughter may very well have convinced herself she is “in love” with this man. However, this ain't Romeo and Juliet. He was in a position of authority and trust and he abused that position; your daughter was FOURTEEN when this ‘affair’ began and if you’re ok with that then frankly, sir, you need to be taken outside and beaten severely about the head with something blunt and heavy. I have a parenting book by Dr Spock that should do the trick…I can’t even begin to fathom in what universe this mindset would be considered ok.

But from looking at the online reaction (always fatal to a {reasonably} sane person’s blood pressure) I’m starting to think perhaps it’s ME who’s in the wrong about this. The general consensus seems to be that this is an outrage, a travesty of justice; that the girl doesn't see anything wrong in what happened; that they ‘ran away’ so she wouldn't self-harm; that because she loves him it was ridiculous to charge and then jail him; that to brand Mr Forrest a paedophile is absurd and wrong. Well you can argue semantics all you like, Joe Public, but while I will acknowledge that the TECHNICAL use of the term paedophile relates to pre-pubescent children (the correct term for adults with a sexual attraction to adolescents is either hebephilia or ephebophilia depending on the age of the child) the rest of this is, frankly, ridiculous. Firstly, again, the stuff which absolutely 100% cannot be ignored: the law states it is ILLEGAL for a teacher to have a ‘relationship’ with ANY PUPIL UNDER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN!!! ‘Normal’ age of consent doesn't come into it, so regardless of anything and everything else ipso facto Forrest broke the law and was rightly charged and convicted. End of discussion, really.

As to the rest of it, well…I weep for humanity. All the people insisting she knew exactly what she was doing, that she is somehow complicit in this whole thing…well hurrah for victim-blaming! I was starting to wonder when it would rear its ugly head and lo and behold I am not disappointed! She was FOURTEEN. I know 14 year old girls like to think they’re all worldly-wise and mature – indeed, some of them are frighteningly savvy – but they are still 14 year old kids. This man was in a position of trust and he abused that trust, frighteningly so. I have my suspicions that she was going through a bit of a rough time when all this started, but even if that’s not the case Forrest still took advantage of her. His victim isn't the first young girl he tried it on with, although it seems she is the only one to actually respond to his advances; the fact he didn't use contraception when he slept with her, and that he did so in the back of his car at a crematorium car park, among other places; that he exchanged explicit photos with an underage child and kissed her in the classroom; that he had (according to the judge in his summing up) spent time “researching what would happen to him if her were caught”…this is looking less and less like a love story and more and more like a tale of child sexual exploitation. Or does that only apply when the perpetrators are gangs of Asian men rather than a lone white middle-class teacher?

Perhaps I’m doing them a disservice. Maybe they really HAVE found their soul mate and, when he gets out of prison in a couple of years time, will settle down and get married and live happily ever after. But I’m not holding my breath. I think Jeremy Forrest is a manipulative and predatory sex offender, who cynically and callously took advantage of and exploited a child he had some form of responsibility for. I think the fact he has been tried and convicted by the courts and sent to prison is not a tragedy, I think it is justice. The fact the authorities have had to place him in a segregated part of the prison away from the general population speaks volumes about the seriousness of his crime and the true nature and intent of his actions.