When I was at the physiotherapist yesterday getting my poor, knackered right shoulder/upper back pulled about (seriously, what kind of a sadist do you have to be to be a physiotherapist?) I had a very entertaining conversation. I saw a different person to my usual physio; the conversation went something like this:
"Ooh," says she; "you have a Jack Skellington tattoo! My five year old loves that film; he'd think you were really cool!"
"Yes," says I; "I do have a Jack Skellington tattoo and I love the film too."
"Ooh!" says she (more excited this time); "I've just seen your others. What are they about...?"
And so began a half-hour conversation about my ink whilst she pummeled a particularly tricky knot into submission. It was a conversation which got me thinking, actually, and then today I had a little bit of an epiphany: I don't think about my tattoos enough.
Not that I don't think about them before I get them. With the exception of one, which - if I'm honest - I'm still not entirely sure why I got, all of my tattoos mean something to me and I thought long and hard about them before I got them. They represent me at different stages in my life, or things which are important to me, or people who have crossed my path and had an impact on my life; they are with me forever, and that's...kinda cool. And I never really thought about it like that.
Not that I'm advocating becoming a hermit and spending the rest of my life in eternal contemplation of The Eternal Mysteries Of My Tattoos. That would be weird and indulgent even by my standards!! But I did think I ought to actually take a step back every once in a while to think about the story each tattoo carries and what it means. And because I blog, I get to bore the rest of you to tears as well. Marvellous! So here they are, in order of their 'birthing'...
Oh, and a quick side note - I apologise for the terrible photographs. They really don't do my ink justice in most cases, but the light in my room is terrible and it's bloody hard trying to take photos of your own body without it being totally cack-handed!!
1) Butterfly (upper left arm; the photo has reversed it, which is annoying!!)
Can't believe how faded this is now...this was my first, when I was 19. I'd wanted a tattoo for years so when I turned 18 I went to one of the local tattoo parlours on the seafront...and promptly walked out again because I am absolutely terrified of needles and completely freaked! I was so annoyed with myself; I couldn't believe I'd wussed out like that when it was something I wanted - I'd even gone in there with the butterfly design I wanted them to do!! (I love butterflies; they're so beautiful and I wanted something small but cheery, so it seemed like a good choice of first tattoo. Plus it was right around the time that Crazy Town song came out, so I told myself it was a sign) But having wussed out that was that for a year, until a friend of mine went in to the same place to have her bellybutton pierced and, on the spur of the moment, I spotted this little thing on the flash art wall and went "I'll have that!" She's terribly faded now and looks a bit neglected, but I will always love her.
2) Elvish Tengwar (upper right arm)
I am a Lord of the Rings geek. In fact I went through a phase where I was quite obsessive about it. I even tried teaching myself Elvish, something I failed miserably at because I suck at languages. The good thing about that, though, was discovering this Tengwar, which means "fate". As I am a great believer in fate and in Professor Tolkien, it seemed like a good idea for my second tattoo. I went back to the same place on the seafront and had it done; it's really faded now and actually isn't all that great, but I wouldn't change it or cover it up because it represents who I was at about 20-21.
3) The Bat (lower back - tramp stamp!!)
Um, yeah...this is the one I got and don't really know why. I'm not that into bats, for one thing, and while I quite like a Batman film every now and then it wasn't anything to do with that, either. I was going through a bit of a 'Goth' phase and think I just wanted something to represent that. Again, I went back to the previous studio and it's just...yeah, it's not that great. I don't regret it, as such, but I wish I could get hold of my 22 year old self and yell "GO ELSEWHERE!! ALSO THINK!!!!" Ah well...
4) Apocalyptica album art (right arm)
Apocalyptica are a Finnish band who play heavy metal on cellos, and this is the image from their "Worlds Collide" album. I love Apocalyptica; they are so much fun live and really lovely guys, so when I wanted a tattoo to represent my love of music this seemed like a winner. It's unique enough to make most people go "umm, what...?" when they see it and, when I meet someone who knows the band and recognises it for what it is, makes me do a little happy dance when we bond over it! Plus this was the first tattoo I ever had done at the incredible Narcissism Tattoo Studio, now the only place I would ever consider going for my ink. God help me if they decide to quit!!
5) Goth Fairy (left arm)
This was designed especially for me by my amazing friend Frankie. He's the most incredibly talented artist; when he drew this for me I knew I had to get it tattooed! It's absolutely beautiful and, what makes it even more special, is that the tattoo on the fairy's arm has my initials worked into it! A true one-off and something I'm incredibly proud of - thanks Frankie!!!
6) Birds and Words (left side of my chest)
There was a long, long pause between the fairy tattoo and this one. I knew I wanted more ink, I just couldn't decide what I wanted to have done, and since I knew I was going to live with it forever I decided to learn from my previous 'oversight' (The Bat) and get something I was really happy with. Then I heard the band Angtoria. I knew their lead singer, Sarah Jezebel Deva, from various projects she'd been part of (most notably Cradle of Filth) and I'd always liked her voice a lot, so when she started her own band I gave it a listen and liked what I heard. Some of Sarah's lyrics got me through a particularly bad time in my life; I was undergoing a lot of tests to try and get to the bottom of a mysterious health problem, I'd broken up with my boyfriend, work wasn't great...yeah, it was pretty crap but music, as always, was my saviour and Angtoria in particular (then I met Sarah and she helped in person as well; she's lovely!!) The lyrics I decided to get inked are from "That's What the Wise Lady Said" and it reads: be strong and believe / you can be anything you wish to be. A good sentiment and something I need to be reminded of from time to time, even now. I knew I wanted something to go with it, though, and a quick Google search for inspiration led to the birds. I love crows anyway (The Crow is also my favourite film) and since these reminded me of them, it felt like the perfect fit.
7) Pin-Up and Words (right inside forearm)
I'm a writer...well, scribbler, at least, and so words are important to me. I also love the nose art on World War Two planes; that whole 'pin-up style' plays to both the vintage lover and wannabe-burlesque artist in me. I knew I wanted a whole shed-load of pin-up tattoos - still do, actually, so there are more planned for the future - and so this is the first: the girl from the Memphis Belle. The words I made up myself; it says: my words are the hollow bones of birds too frail to fly. I don't really know what it means, other than my total lack of faith in my ability perhaps, but I'm actually kind of in love with this tattoo. Now to start work on the other pin-up ideas...
8) Forever Delayed
Another music-related one. It's a big thing in my life...'Forever Delayed' is a lyric by the Manic Street Preachers, the first 'proper' band I ever saw live aged 14 (having gone through the obligatory boyband love first), and is from their song "Roses in the Hospital", one of my favourites from my favourite of their albums "Gold Against the Soul". I adore the early Manics stuff; anything up to and including "This is My Truth Tell Me Yours" is amazing. It went a bit hazy in the middle there for a while but I fell back in love when "Journal for Plague Lovers" came out and it's been that way ever since. I'd wanted 'Forever Delayed' tattooed for as long as I can remember because it signifies a whole lot of different things to me: my love of the song and the band, of music in general; people I know who died too young and didn't get to fulfil their potential; my own troubles as a teenager and how I never want to be that way again...who knew two little words could mean so much?
9) and 10) Memorial Pieces (Jack Skellington - left inner forearm; Mad Hatter - right side of chest)
Ah, the tattoo which started this entire reflective...thing. Both of these tattoos - the Jack Skellington one and the Mad Hatter one - have significance on two levels. Superficially, I really like both "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Alice in Wonderland", so getting tattoos to show that isn't too unusual. The real reason for them, however, is a memorial-come-reminder of someone who breezed into my life for the briefest period of time and yet, somehow, changed it irrevocably. He was my Evil Twin; he made me laugh, encouraged my writing and believed in me from the word go; we clicked almost instantly and had so many things in common it was scary, yet he died far, far too young and before his many, many talents had a chance to truly take over the world. When I first met him we bonded over his own Jack tattoo; when we became friends, however, he was playing the Mad Hatter and so these two both seemed appropriate to get both as a sort-of tribute and also as a reminder to myself of what he told me.
So there you go. There are many, many more tattoos planned - more pin-ups, a Marvel superheroes one (possibly on my leg because I'm running out of places to actually put groups of tattoos!!), an Eddie Izzard-based one, the planned memorial for my grandparents (incorporating an Amanda Palmer lyric because I love her and because it totally fits) - but that's it for no. I need to find the designs I really want and the money to pay for them, but I'm fairly confident there'll be at least one new one added to the collection this year. Watch this space...
2) Elvish Tengwar (upper right arm)
I am a Lord of the Rings geek. In fact I went through a phase where I was quite obsessive about it. I even tried teaching myself Elvish, something I failed miserably at because I suck at languages. The good thing about that, though, was discovering this Tengwar, which means "fate". As I am a great believer in fate and in Professor Tolkien, it seemed like a good idea for my second tattoo. I went back to the same place on the seafront and had it done; it's really faded now and actually isn't all that great, but I wouldn't change it or cover it up because it represents who I was at about 20-21.
3) The Bat (lower back - tramp stamp!!)
Um, yeah...this is the one I got and don't really know why. I'm not that into bats, for one thing, and while I quite like a Batman film every now and then it wasn't anything to do with that, either. I was going through a bit of a 'Goth' phase and think I just wanted something to represent that. Again, I went back to the previous studio and it's just...yeah, it's not that great. I don't regret it, as such, but I wish I could get hold of my 22 year old self and yell "GO ELSEWHERE!! ALSO THINK!!!!" Ah well...
4) Apocalyptica album art (right arm)
Apocalyptica are a Finnish band who play heavy metal on cellos, and this is the image from their "Worlds Collide" album. I love Apocalyptica; they are so much fun live and really lovely guys, so when I wanted a tattoo to represent my love of music this seemed like a winner. It's unique enough to make most people go "umm, what...?" when they see it and, when I meet someone who knows the band and recognises it for what it is, makes me do a little happy dance when we bond over it! Plus this was the first tattoo I ever had done at the incredible Narcissism Tattoo Studio, now the only place I would ever consider going for my ink. God help me if they decide to quit!!
5) Goth Fairy (left arm)
This was designed especially for me by my amazing friend Frankie. He's the most incredibly talented artist; when he drew this for me I knew I had to get it tattooed! It's absolutely beautiful and, what makes it even more special, is that the tattoo on the fairy's arm has my initials worked into it! A true one-off and something I'm incredibly proud of - thanks Frankie!!!
6) Birds and Words (left side of my chest)
There was a long, long pause between the fairy tattoo and this one. I knew I wanted more ink, I just couldn't decide what I wanted to have done, and since I knew I was going to live with it forever I decided to learn from my previous 'oversight' (The Bat) and get something I was really happy with. Then I heard the band Angtoria. I knew their lead singer, Sarah Jezebel Deva, from various projects she'd been part of (most notably Cradle of Filth) and I'd always liked her voice a lot, so when she started her own band I gave it a listen and liked what I heard. Some of Sarah's lyrics got me through a particularly bad time in my life; I was undergoing a lot of tests to try and get to the bottom of a mysterious health problem, I'd broken up with my boyfriend, work wasn't great...yeah, it was pretty crap but music, as always, was my saviour and Angtoria in particular (then I met Sarah and she helped in person as well; she's lovely!!) The lyrics I decided to get inked are from "That's What the Wise Lady Said" and it reads: be strong and believe / you can be anything you wish to be. A good sentiment and something I need to be reminded of from time to time, even now. I knew I wanted something to go with it, though, and a quick Google search for inspiration led to the birds. I love crows anyway (The Crow is also my favourite film) and since these reminded me of them, it felt like the perfect fit.
7) Pin-Up and Words (right inside forearm)
I'm a writer...well, scribbler, at least, and so words are important to me. I also love the nose art on World War Two planes; that whole 'pin-up style' plays to both the vintage lover and wannabe-burlesque artist in me. I knew I wanted a whole shed-load of pin-up tattoos - still do, actually, so there are more planned for the future - and so this is the first: the girl from the Memphis Belle. The words I made up myself; it says: my words are the hollow bones of birds too frail to fly. I don't really know what it means, other than my total lack of faith in my ability perhaps, but I'm actually kind of in love with this tattoo. Now to start work on the other pin-up ideas...
8) Forever Delayed
Another music-related one. It's a big thing in my life...'Forever Delayed' is a lyric by the Manic Street Preachers, the first 'proper' band I ever saw live aged 14 (having gone through the obligatory boyband love first), and is from their song "Roses in the Hospital", one of my favourites from my favourite of their albums "Gold Against the Soul". I adore the early Manics stuff; anything up to and including "This is My Truth Tell Me Yours" is amazing. It went a bit hazy in the middle there for a while but I fell back in love when "Journal for Plague Lovers" came out and it's been that way ever since. I'd wanted 'Forever Delayed' tattooed for as long as I can remember because it signifies a whole lot of different things to me: my love of the song and the band, of music in general; people I know who died too young and didn't get to fulfil their potential; my own troubles as a teenager and how I never want to be that way again...who knew two little words could mean so much?
9) and 10) Memorial Pieces (Jack Skellington - left inner forearm; Mad Hatter - right side of chest)
Ah, the tattoo which started this entire reflective...thing. Both of these tattoos - the Jack Skellington one and the Mad Hatter one - have significance on two levels. Superficially, I really like both "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Alice in Wonderland", so getting tattoos to show that isn't too unusual. The real reason for them, however, is a memorial-come-reminder of someone who breezed into my life for the briefest period of time and yet, somehow, changed it irrevocably. He was my Evil Twin; he made me laugh, encouraged my writing and believed in me from the word go; we clicked almost instantly and had so many things in common it was scary, yet he died far, far too young and before his many, many talents had a chance to truly take over the world. When I first met him we bonded over his own Jack tattoo; when we became friends, however, he was playing the Mad Hatter and so these two both seemed appropriate to get both as a sort-of tribute and also as a reminder to myself of what he told me.
So there you go. There are many, many more tattoos planned - more pin-ups, a Marvel superheroes one (possibly on my leg because I'm running out of places to actually put groups of tattoos!!), an Eddie Izzard-based one, the planned memorial for my grandparents (incorporating an Amanda Palmer lyric because I love her and because it totally fits) - but that's it for no. I need to find the designs I really want and the money to pay for them, but I'm fairly confident there'll be at least one new one added to the collection this year. Watch this space...
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